Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
