shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize