With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
