We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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