You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
