They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
