hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
