my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
