I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
