Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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