Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
