This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
