it hurts more in the daytime
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
