i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
