The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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