Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize