Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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