I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
