Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
