Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
