He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
