I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
