At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
