I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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