Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
