I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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