D3 body, D1 cock
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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