He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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