hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
