stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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