yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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