It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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