Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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