I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
