Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
