they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
