I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
