she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i think i just lost a toe
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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