I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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