Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
