i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No subtext here. People are naked.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
