They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
