I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
