Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize