I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
