idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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