Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
