im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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