I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
