when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
