i jhust puked up my retainher.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
