I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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