She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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