i don't like sucking hair
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
