Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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