i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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