I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
