You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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