If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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