Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
