I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she looked like the before picture.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
