omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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