I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
