it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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