Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
