I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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