Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
