at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
