I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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