Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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