Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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